What about the Dads?

January 17, 2017

So this is how it goes down in our family. My husband works – a lot. On most days he leaves home at 8:30 am and gets home around 8:45 pm. On busy days and days leading up to Christmas, he gets home at 10:45 pm. He also often works Saturdays and sometimes Sundays. So I am at home, either on my own or with the kids a lot. We eat our meals without him, do our daily activities without him. We do school interviews, dance class, swimming without him. The house gets trashed without him, and mostly then gets put back together without him. 

Now for me, things are a little different. I work from home. So I am at home a lot. My daughter is in Grade 1 this year and my son will start Kinder. So I will (finally) have some time alone at home to work, oh and put a load of washing on, tidy up the kitchen, change the sheets... oh hang on, that's right, I'm working. So by the end of the day when we finally come together, we are both bone weary tired. He has worked hard for 12 hours, and I have been working hard trying to stop my kids from killing each other and keeping my business afloat. And this is where it sometimes gets messy.

As a woman working from home, and a Mother, nothing is worse that feeling like you are not appreciated. The 36 fights you have negotiated, the floor puzzles you have helped with, the 5 pairs of socks you have picked up off the floor, the 18 drink requests, the 24 snack requests, playing, dinner, bath, bed, and work. Trying to negotiate a 10,000 piece manufacturing order while my son is screaming 'Mum, I've done a poo!' I am a one woman show and usually have at least 9 unattended things on my list of things to do. It is so easy to feel tired, frustrated and unappreciated when someone walks in the door and the day is over, things are cleaned up and everything is quiet.

But lately, I have been putting myself in my husbands, shoes. He works his ass off! He takes every little piece of overtime he can so that he can take time when I can go overseas to India twice a year for work, and so that our family doesn't miss out while we are still in the growth phase of the business. He misses out on having meals with the kids, dance lessons, going to school interviews, and all the wonderful little things that happen as kids are growing up. He misses out on the day-to-day life of watching our beautiful children try, learn, fall and get back up. He does this without complaint. 

I am the first to put up my hand and say how hard it is raising kids and being the prime care giver. But I reckon he has it just as hard. And I am saying thank you.

So instead of trying to win points about who does is tougher, in our house we are trying to implement a mutual appreciation conversation. We try to remember to tell the other person that we appreciate what they are doing for the family, and that it is not easy. For either of us. Because I don't know about you, but for me, just to hear someone say that you are doing a good job, and I appreciate you, is enough.

I would love to know how you manage in your house?

Much love

Kelli

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