Sometimes life for kids with a Mum that works from home can be.... well, a bit shit.

January 04, 2017 10 Comments

I often think how lucky I am to have my own business, to make my own hours and be able to be home with the kids. I can make it to school assembly if Ruby is getting an award, and if one or both of my kids are sick, I can muddle through a day of work at home with them. Flexibility is awesome! I can email from the couch, watch them playing out the back whilst doing an Instagram post. Spend Fridays having a lunch date with Henry. Sounds great right?

But today, day (I've lost count) of about 40 of Christmas School Holidays, and I have a few thousand (no, not joking) unread emails I have to address, couriers banging down the door 3 or 4 times a day, and so many things on my to-do list that I was happy for my bubbly, smart 6 yo to have another iPad day when all of a sudden it hit me. Sometimes life for kids with a Mum that works from home can be.... well, a bit shit.

All of a sudden I realised that these are her school holidays, her time to have a break from school and have some fun, her time to be experiencing new things and new places. She is six. This is her Summer of being six, and the best I can do most days is let her play the iPad for longer than usual. 

But the thing is, when you own your own business and work for yourself, you never really have a day off. There is never really anyone else to delegate to, to hold the fort while you take your kids to the Museum on a 'work day'. This year I managed a two-night 'holiday' with my kids and their Grandpa, which was amazing. They revelled in packing their bags, sleeping in new beds, going out to a restaurant for dinner, having a road trip. But I think they deserve more. They deserve someone that can be present, that isn't constantly 'at work'.

So today I turned off the phone, closed the computer and told my beautiful girl to grab her bathers we were heading to the pool for a few hours. Just you and me kid. 

So if I didn't answer your email today, or you couldn't get me on the phone, or your order comes a day later than you expected, I'm not sorry. Today, for a few hours, we were on school holidays.

Kelli



10 Responses

Julie
Julie

January 06, 2017

Thanks for being so real Kelli. All of that resonated so much with me as a chosen ‘work from home’ mum. I got out of hospitality so I could be more present with my eight year old but I find myself constantly telling her I’m am busy, I am working, just a minute, sshh I’m concentrating- then one night when I tucked her in she said with tears running down her cheeks ‘mum I feel like you don’t love me anymore cause you are always telling me to go away"
It broke my heart right in that instant and then I realised I have to be present more often.
So we too went to the beach and had s mum and Mollie morning and are going south this weekend – no technology. Thanks for sharing x

Claudia
Claudia

January 05, 2017

Don’t be so hard on yourself honey. At least you are with them for snippets of time. I’ve have three boys and have been a working mum since each of them where one years old. I have never had the luxury of having any additional time with them except weekends and when we go on holidays. I know my kids know i love them. Its all about the quality time rather then quantity and on a positive note you are around for them, rather then them being at after school care or away from you completely. I fit 15 minutes of meditation in my day every day, and have no more guilt around how hard I work in my life because most of what I do is for them. Good Luck.

Sass
Sass

January 05, 2017

Like Cath, as a kid I knew all about parents who run their own business!

Our family business was set up in a spare bedroom in our house, we had couriers in and out of the house all day, and when I came home I would sit in the ‘office’ and type and stuff envelopes. Looking back I wouldn’t change a thing because when I look at how hard my mum and grandma worked to keep us all afloat I see nothing but love and determination in it. I actually think of those moments with them working as precious – the parents of all the other kids I knew weren’t around in the afternoon, but mine were.

Fi
Fi

January 05, 2017

This is so good Kelli! Thanks for sharing and being honest. I’m on maternity leave with my first child, and started blogging and a small biz to ‘pass the time’ (what was I thinking?!). My dream would be to work from home to spend more time with my kids, but I’m also beginning to realise that things are piling up and the to-do list never seems to be finished. Thanks for encouraging us to put the phone down, laptop away and enjoy our kids’ childhoods!

Rikki
Rikki

January 05, 2017

Kelly you are such a beautiful and real mum, I love it! Thanks for sharing and you couldn’t have put it any better. Rikki xx

Caroline Denyer
Caroline Denyer

January 05, 2017

I don’t have kids but I love this. I totally relate. I live in the UK and am now home for 6 weeks to see family. I am still trying to manage my business from Sydney and my family don’t get why I a need to be on the computer when I am here to see them (basically because I have had no income for three years and it’s make or break now). Good on you for taking some time for your girl and also for doing your own thing. Noone has the perfect balance so I am sure she is dead chuffed when you make it to all the things her friend’s mama’s can’t. Happy New Year!

Rachel Mckenzie
Rachel Mckenzie

January 05, 2017

Kelli,
So glad you wrote this. And what’s more others view us as ‘so lucky’ to be working from home when we are constantly battling this pull between work and family. Its extremely hard to switch off at home – there is always an email to do or numerous other little things. Its great you’ve realised that our kids deserve us to be there with them and ‘present’ with them – i too have started to make sure I switch off and give them this time they deserve – we gave them life so it’s only fair we give them that back. After reading this I will be making even more of an effort! Thankyou xxxx Rachel – Babee and Me xxxxx

Cath
Cath

January 04, 2017

My beautiful parents had several businesses when I was growing up…. they never had time off… it was challenging and hard at times. They loved us deeply and we knew it. And now we all appreciate how much they worked and how much they did for us. We really didn’t miss out on anything though and we now get to spend lots of time with them and our children so we are truly blessed. Be kind to yourself, you are doing what you do for yourself but ultimately for them xxxx

Kevin
Kevin

January 04, 2017

Beautifully said Kelli. Its hard running a business even if its not from home. For many years (10) I ran a software Development Company. Some of it was great, as a single Dad I could drop Chloe at school and hang around for assembly and pick her up from school. But I never stopped working, I worked from around 7am often until 11pm at home and the weekends were for doing Admin. Then Mondays I would dread the phone ringing only to hear that one of my employees grandad’s had died yet again.

Chloe gained a great life in some ways but missed out in others. My solution was to have all her friends over on Friday and they stayed until Saturday evening. The parents thought I was nuts, but I loved it, it meant I had to turn off all the machines and my brain and just be with them

I took her to England for 3 months and paid for a trip for her when she was older.

But we both still missed out. I still remember walking into my study early one Saturday Morning and Chloe at around 3 had turned on my PC climbed up onto my chair and had started Word. She told me she was helping Daddy. My heart broke a little.

Doing it again. I would do only so much and get help to run the business.

Kevin

Lisa
Lisa

January 04, 2017

Thanks for a perfect post Kelli! I needed the reminder that it’s okay to stop sometimes xxx

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